Tags: Personal Cash Flow Statement Personal Balance SheetEssay The Road To ChlifaYouth Work CourseEssays American Dream Raisin SunNursing Research ProposalsPersuasive Music Research PaperP Value In Research PapersExample Of A Five Paragraph Essay
On the west side of my school there are many dirty apartments; crime is high and social status is low.”Here, the writer engages the reader by providing a vivid description of the locale of his home and school.
If you open with something like, “I want to go to college to learn and achieve my goals,” this will just waste the reader’s time.
Don’t start your essay with something generic and unnecessary.
One effective way to grab the reader’s attention is to describe the action of your story.
Consider this applicant’s introduction:“‘Breez in and breez out.
Clear yor mind by zinking of somezing plasant.’ For five minutes, all of us found ourselves sitting cross-legged on the floor with a soft, sleepy look on our faces as we subconsciously nodded to the soothing rhythmic voice of our French teacher.
Our heads were still half wafting in the delicious swirls of dreamland, barely dwelling in the bittersweet shock of reality.Nine stitches and thirteen years later, while I no longer attempt to be stronger than steel or faster than a speeding bullet, I still find myself testing my limits, mental and physical.”This applicant takes a similar approach:“I am an addict.I tell people I could stop anytime, but deep inside, I know I am lying.I sing myself hoarse each morning in the shower, and playing the trumpet leaves a red mouthpiece-shaped badge of courage on my lips all day.I suspect that if someone were to look at my blood under a microscope, they would see, between the platelets and t-cells, little black musical notes coursing through my body.”Both writers have succeeded in grabbing our attention and revealing something unique about their personalities, which they will go on to explain in further detail.I need to listen to music, to write music, to play music every day.I can’t go a whole day without, at the very least, humming or whistling the tunes that crowd my head.The location of my school, only a few blocks from the University of Oregon, is greatly responsible for the social atmosphere.Whereas the other high schools in town draw mainly from middle-class white suburban families, mine sits in the division between the poor west university neighborhood and the affluent east university one.Time whizzed by swiftly and we were forced to tend to the grueling task of untangling our aching frames, stiffened from prolonged straining positions.”The above introduction does a much better job of engaging the reader.Dialogue can be a very effective way to win over the reader’s attention.